Overcoming My Fear

This process has been incredibly scary and I've shed more than a few tears - I mean have you ever had to listen to your own voice? It is strange and uncomfortable for someone who prefers to stand behind the star.

Jason has always had big dreams, and I wont lie they have scared me, but I’ve taken comfort in knowing I’m just the behind-the-scenes girl. I could play a part of his big dreams, they were in a way my dreams too, but I didn’t have to stand out in front and shine. Standing behind him made going after things I was passionate about all that much easier.

With this, I am not only having to step out in front but step out alone. He might be giving me technical tips here and there, but ultimately I’m standing here alone and staking a claim on this thing.

For years I rode horses. Time after time I met people who had bought a horse simply because they loved them. They had no idea how to ride or train a horse and in many cases they were terrified to actually get up and sit on top of those wildly tamed beasts. I marveled at them. I didn’t understand what they were afraid of, and I couldn’t understand why they would go through the trouble and expense if they were so terrified.

Now I understand. My wildly tamed beast sits in front of me in the shape of a dream - a ministry of helping parents have conversations with their kids. It is tame, what is there in writing and recording a few podcasts, and yet it is wild - new and unknown.

All this being said, I recorded a simple podcast on our summer goal of learning a new language as a test. I forced myself to publish it and let me tell you, I shed quite a few tears over it. Excitement, anxiety, fear, so many emotions that I’m not used to feeling all at once. The actual podcast wont launch until September, but I’m going to record a few small episodes to practice and help me get over my fear of my own voice. If you want to be a part of the process click below to listen to The Conversation Podcast.